That's A Wrap

You're looking at the California Artisan Cheese Festival's 2012 cheese wrapping champ!

Cracked out from all the competitive cheese-wrapping

The Cheese Guild's annual festival host's many artisan producers and offers extensive seminars, but the highlight everyone comes to see is the Professional's Wrap-Off. I wrapped next to some of the best, and in the end came out ahead in speed, presentation and (very importantly) limited tape use. I must credit my weeks of rigorous training to my success and... Okay, I'll cut the crap. It was silly, but fun. People cheered for me, I got a big 'ol basket of cheese (which I promptly gave away), and I have this awesome title that I should really turn into a bumper sticker. Or since I'm sans car, maybe a button would suit me better. 

Gloat gloat gloat.

Illegal Cheese? Illegal Cheese!

I've got illegal cheese! Where and how I acquired it, I cannot say. Because seriously, it's illegal...

I've never seen a pasteurized Brie run like this raw version.

Brie de Meaux (pronounced mowe) is also known as Le Roi de Fromages, the King of Cheeses. From the Ile-de-France region, this is the one that started it all for those soft, creamy dairy lovers out there. The illustrious foreign delicacy from France that spurred a thousand imitations. Everyone's favorite. But you won't ever see real Brie in the States. Unless it was smuggled. Or was sent to you by mistake.

Brie de Meaux is a protected cheese under the AOC, or Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée, like Champagne is to wine. In addition to it's geographical location, part of what makes Brie Brie is that it is made with unpasteurized milk. Tisk-tisk says the US Federal government. Apparently raw milk products aged less than 60 days (such as Brie and most other soft-ripened cheeses) are teaming with evil bacteria just waiting to wreak havoc on the American public. That's the law. Allegedly after that two month period all the bad bacteria magically disappears. It's a lovely notion to make us feel a little better, a little safer, since we as a nation are so disconnected from our food to begin with. Detect a hint of cynicism? This is also all highly debatable, so I won't get into it any further.

Because of the nature of most high-moisture, young cheese the proteins begin to break down and are nearly at the end of their life come 60 days. So herein lies the dilemma: Do we consume real, unpasteurized cheese that's past its prime? Or do we eat pasteurized Brie-style cheese that while lovely, truly lacks the complexity and flavor of the raw milk version? It's a toss up between rancid and bland. We (or rather the FDA) picked the latter.

 Unlike a lot of people, Brie is actually at the low end of my favorite cheeses list. Still I was insanely giddy. Because, did I mention, it's illegal?

I often hear from my customers that washed rind cheeses, otherwise known as the really stinky cheeses (Epoisse, Taleggio, Livarot) smell like dirty gym socks. I have to correct them by letting them know what they are smelling is more akin to a dirty diaper, not dirty feet. (Or I'm wrong and just haven't been to the gym in a really long time...) Mostly I'll do this in my head, but sometimes when I've had a lot of caffeine and am feeling saucy I'll say it aloud. But this Brie de Meaux smelled like a pair of well-loved sneakers just taken out for a run in July, something I have never experienced from a bloomy rind cheese. To the contrary the flavor was sublime. It tasted like a nicely seasoned cream of broccoli soup, and the consistency was oozy, smooth and mouth coating-ly creamy, the rind thin with just the right amount of chew. The lucky few who tasted it had to fight each other for the spreader. In addition to a few harmless scrapes and bruises, we all took away a whole new impression of what Brie can be.

I'll be driving through France this June, and while I plan to taste as much cheese as my short time will allow, Brie wasn't on my list until now. Perhaps I'll even be the bold one to smuggle some raw cheese back this time. Worth the risk? Absolutely.

Say Cheese!

I am fortunate to have recently spent a day working alongside James Rutter of famed Neal's Yard Dairy. He was a pleasure to work with and made me remember that England produces so much excellent cheese other than cheddar. This inspired me to make a British themed cheese plate showcasing some highlights. The one cheddar I included is actually American-made, but in the English style, being that it is wrapped in cheese cloth and rubbed down with lard. The other three cheeses are UK originals. I even included some gnarled teeth as one of the accompaniments to (stereotypically) hint at the theme.

Starting clockwise with the half tangerine at 12 o'clock and the honeycomb at six we have -

Ticklemore: A young, fluffy goat milk cheese made at Sharpham Estate in Devon, the adorable Ticklemore has a whipped, airy texture almost like a sponge cake coated in unsweetened whipped cream. Very mild and un-goaty, it's reminiscent of coconut. The colander the cheese is formed in gives it a squat, ridged shape resulting in a pearly UFO appearance.

Stichelton: I love UK blue's: Strathdon. Harbourne. Bright orange Shropshire. Stilton with Bing cherry confiture could very well be the death of me. But all are pasteurized and I like to live dangerously. After having Joe Schneider's Stichelton, essentially a raw-milk Stilton style, that all changed. This blue has so many layers of flavor ranging from savory to sweet to grassy and bright to earthy. And the blue mold never overwhelms; rather it acts as a perfect compliment to the unpasteurized full-fat, full flavored milk.  

St. James: Two of my favorite things converge in this Cumbria made delicacy: It's made with rich, nutty sheep milk, and it is covered by the stinky, sticky b.linens of a washed rind. Also it's square shaped, which I have an odd affection for in cheeses. St. James tastes of salty smoked meat and is intensely barnyard-y. Usually the most ignored style on a plate (unless you run with mostly French folks), I say More for me!

Bleu Mont Bandaged Cheddar: Wisconsin "Mad Scientist" Willi Lehner makes this beautiful cheddar style cheese, usually aged to around 14 months. I picked this for my platter rather than a traditional English Farmhouse cheddar because cheeses like Montgomery's are pretty easily found in this country now, and as a nod to American makers who are doing a really wonderful job reinventing old recipes. Plus this cheese just drives me crazy. It's bright and grassy, but also musty and cellar-y, with toasted nut and brown butter notes and a touch of something sweet. Hands down my favorite cheddar I've tasted to date.

So if you find yourself in London please go visit the hard working Neil's Yard Dairy clan. It's a place that should be on any cheese enthusiast's bucket list. A visit will disprove the long standing cliche that the English have bad food. As for the bad teeth, I'll have to wait until my own trip there before I'm convinced.

Spirited Cheese

While New Years Eve is still very fresh in our minds, either in the form of fun memories or of a dull ache (or both) it seems like a perfect time to bring up the topic of alcohol. Or is it the worst? Anyway... People love wine and cheese. Wine and cheese together is like bread and butter: It's a no brainer and it's safe. More and more cheese lovers are opening up to the endless, equally enjoyable pairing possibilities of beer and cheese. It's like butter and jam. Still delicious, but more often enjoyed by the Brits. But what about spirits or liquor with cheese? While widely less experimented with, there can be some real winners when the right booze is consumed with the right wedge. It's like... pickles and peanut butter? It might not be obvious, but it sure can taste good.

In the Bay Area, mixing drinks is a profession almost on par with that of a talented young chef. Both create delicious, beautiful and often inventive fare that we love to put in our mouths. My neighbor happens to be one of those talented San Francisco mixologists bringing old fashioned drinks back to life and giving them a modern spin. She even has her own line of cocktail mixers to boot. So when she asks me to watch her cat while she's away, even though said cat is particularly old and spastic, and notoriously hard to lure inside, I always say Yes because I know she'll return with something for me much nicer than what I can find at my local Trader Joe's.

This time I got whiskey.

I won't pretend to know the difference between whiskey, bourbon or scotch, and since my head might explode if you tried to explain it to me, all I'm going to say about my bottle is that it tasted like dark, sweet liquor. But definitely not the kind that makes you gag. I should know: I consumed my fair share of SoCo and Sailor Jerry's in college. I knew instantly upon taste that drinking it solo was not for me, and I wouldn't want to insult the love, care and the year(s) put into it by trying to concoct my own mixed drink (Is anyone else intimidated by the thought of making a whiskey cocktail?) So I did as most humans do and I went for what I know: Cheese.

Cheese

Picking L'Amuse, a two year aged Gouda imported by Essex Cheese Co. by way of Holland was no hard choice. L'Amuse is waxy, crunchy, butterscotch-y, salty and bold, and I often suggest to my customers that they pair it with whiskey though I never have myself. The combination was nice, but I suppose my palate is still not used to appreciating whiskey outside of a mixed drink. I know there are multiple wonderous combinations of cheese and spirits out there. This one just didn't move me. I have a hunch that Capriole Farm's O'Banon, a fresh goat milk disk wrapped in bourbon-soaked chestnut leaves would be a safe one to try, or perhaps I need to venture into the scotch or gin arena. At least I gave it a shot rather than taking shots. I saved the bottle for my rowdy friends.

Andante

Andante's Pianoforte and Contralto

I swooped these beauties up one blustery Saturday at the Ferry Building Farmers Market in SF. How could I resist? I rarely have the pleasure of tasting Andante cheeses, and never the pleasure of selling them.

Andante is a much sought after creamery in Petaluma, CA, where all the cheeses are delicate and dreamy, and bare musically inspired names. Milk master Soyoung Scanlan notoriously shuns the spotlight, insisting her creations do the talking for her. They've given her quite the reputation. And humble as she may be about her craft, can we really separate artists from their masterpieces? DaVinci from The Last Super? Michelangelo from David? Soyoung from Acapella? Okay, so that was a bit of an exaggeration. I tend to do that.

Contralto is a washed rind goat cheese, all pudgy and soft. The sturdy yet elegant wedge smelled of the water steamed cauliflower leaves behind and a bit like a goat pen, but it tasted of cured meat, butter sauteed shiitakes and was reminiscent of a Pho broth. Mouth full and my eyes slowly rolling back in my head, all I could muster was a Yum barely audible under my cheese gurgle. It was a truly blissful experience of savory, salt and funk.

The Pianoforte was a different story. I took one lick, cringed, and spat it out. It was overripe, and I now see why I was told to eat it the day I bought it, which I didn't. Oops. But even through the bitterness I could tell it would be a milky, beautiful little cow cheese in its prime. Perfection is fleeting and I missed the boat. But if you do happen to make it aboard, this is something Scanlan demonstrates oh-so well.

Consider This

1333 Vt Route 153  West Pawlet, VT

I'm in a rut. A cheese rut. It doesn't sound so bad, really, especially if said cheese is melted. But in a profession where I am surrounded by dairy almost daily, it isn't difficult to survey your surroundings, take a deep breath (not noticing the smell any longer), and become uninspired.

Working for over a year in one shop, I've seen the same tomes, disks, logs, drums, buttons and truncated pyramids cycle in and out over the seasons. And it truly is a special thing to so closely be able to analyze how the Spring milk affects the textures, flavors and aromas of a wheel versus the Winter milk, how the cheesemaker has tweaked their recipe. Then again there's the feeling of, Haven't we been here before?

This can be disenchanting. Occasionally a producer will come up with a new creation that will awe, inspire and invigorate; or fall flat on its face. Trying a cheese that's been around a cool while, but your taste buds have yet had the pleasure to meet, can be just what the monger needs.

I have been intrigued by Consider Bardwell Farm for about as long as I've been intrigued by cheese - or at least as long as I've been researching it. Nestled in the Champlain Valley, I admittedly know very little about the almost 150 year old dairy that straddles the Vermont-New York state border. It wasn't until a chilly, seven a.m., pre-Thanksgiving Saturday that I got my first taste. Still wrapped in sleep, I was presented with two beautiful wheels my eyes found curiously unfamiliar, and my mouth found wickedly (East Coast representing!) delightful. Enter: Pawlet and Rupert.

Both are raw Jersey cow cheeses, made with milk purchased from a nearby dairy. The Bardwell farm actually raises and milks about 100 Oberhaslis goats. Google them - they're friggin' cute.

Rupert is an Alpine style - a cooked, pressed curd - apparently the closest American representation of France's Beaufort Alpage. Smooth and dense in the paste; nutty, savory and rich, and a little spicy in the flavor. Formatted large like the Swiss greats, this cheese crosses boundaries. Paired with white, red and bubbly wines, or beer, it would likely hold its own. Likewise it would be a happy partner with ham on a hot sandwich, and a highlight on any cheese plate. And whoever thought of stamping a whale on the bloated, desert-earthen hued wheel of cheese before I did deserves props. And a bit of my scorn. To top it off they called it Rupert, which makes me hate the Bardwell folks just a little bit more. Genius, really.

Can you see Moby Dick?

Pawlet is the everyday nosher with the beautifully ridged, pinkish rind. It is inspired by Italian table cheese, not unlike Bellwether Farm's Carmody. Creamy, but with a more open texture than Rupert, it coats your tongue with a milky tartness and fruitiness that shouts "Melt Me!" Or, "Eat me with sweet, crisp apples". Or, "Just bite off a hunk!" while dashing out the door. 

I by chance encountered Consider Bardwell's stand at the Union Square farmers market during my October trip to New York. Overwhelmed and sputtering I'm sure, I was whisked away by my travel companions before I could further drool on the market representatives, who looked a bit worried by my presence. After all we had a date at Republic, and a plane to catch in a few short hours. Plus we were all pretty burnt from the local cheese plates I made almost nightly for my hosts. Pity.

Hudson Valley locals:
Kunik, Hudson Red, and a Gouda-style that's name I can't recall.
Too much cider...

Don't they say that good things come to those who wait? While I reluctantly passed on the Consider Bardwell market experience, only a month later the same cheeses were surprisingly presented to me. Both were delicious, and made for a lip-smacking good time. A pleasure to sell and a pleasure to eat, I anxiously anticipate trying their other wheels, especially of the goat kind. Like Batman and Robin in the Batmobile, Rupert and Pawlet rolled in and saved the day.

Nerd Alert!*

*I've often wondered what cheese best personifies me...

After some thought and occasional discussion with coworkers (Note: NOT the best dinner party topic with friends not in the cheese biz), I happily settled on Morbier. Kinda nutty, kinda funky, but appealing to many - we're two pea's in a pod.

Morbier hails from France's Franche-Comte region. It is an unpasteurized cow's milk cheese, uncooked and pressed, with a washed and brushed rind. Translation: It's stanky.
Besides its offensive odor, Morbier's distinguishing features are a sticky, orangish-redish rind that once cut reveals a thin dark line of vegetable ash running horizontally through the center. Often mistaken as a blue cheese, the ash at one time served a purpose. Back in the day (To my generation: No I'm not talking about the early 90's) the hardy French folks of the Alps that made Comte, the large format Gruyere-style cheese that is the most consumed cheese in France, were often left with curd at the end of the day that wasn't enough to make the mammoth 70lb. wheel. Not wanting to be wasteful, they pressed the left over curd into a smaller form, covered their hands with ash from the outside of their copper kettles, and patted the young cheese to protect it during the night. Come the next day they would add another layer of curd on top. Et voila!, Morbier.

While it's been quite warm in the Bay Area, it is Autumn now, so I thought I'd celebrate my favorite season with a cold weather, toastie treat. Inspired by raclette, the drool-worthy cheese melting contraption of Switzerland, I decided to take my cheese twin to a level I hadn't before.
The Menu: Grilled bread with melted Morbier, served with pickled vegetable medley from Happy Girl Kitchen. Plus wilted spinach sauteed with leeks, so I wouldn't feel so bad about myself.
The Guests: Myself plus two crazy cheese ladies and one crazy cheese gent, some of us newly living under one (very small) roof together. Here's to new roommate excitement! Let's remember this when we can't stand the sight of each other... 

Morbier's fatty, semi-firm, and slightly elastic texture make it a great melter. Its pronounced nutty, vegetal, and slightly bitter flavors become more subtle once melted, so this is a great way to introduce stinky cheese into your diet without knocking you backwards in your chair. As for the veggies, the acid cuts the fat and salt of the cheese, and adds a crisp crunch to the dominating melty, gooey texture. Plus who doesn't love pickles? I considered eating this while squatting in front of a high-powered fan with a scarf wrapped around my neck, but decided that might be overkill. While it still feels like bathing suit weather outside, melted cheese is delicious, and necessary, all times of the year.

 and Dessert!